Anyone want to make a story?

welovehina · 2010-06-07T00:31:41+00:00

i got bored, and i was wondering if we should write a story together? here is what i think we should do. A: Come up with a basic storyline. B: Develop chara...

Griever_Lionheart

[FONT=Franklin Gothic Medium][FONT=Arial Black][SIZE=3]Achilles Bollinger[/SIZE][/FONT]
Age: 22
Height: 6'2
Weight: 186
Build: Muscular/Athletic. Think a light-heavy weight boxer
Hair Color/Style: Dark Brown, curly in an unruly fashion. roughly 4 inches in length.
Skin: White, Sun tanned
Normal Dress: Black charred armor of the Specials Unit, often covered by a brown cloak.

Bio: Achilles is the son of a baker and a minor noble woman that was lured away her lifestyle by the smell of sweet bread and the promise of love without drama. Raised on the largest of the floating islands, Majorca, Achilles spend his childhood mastering the flute and the art of baking. At age eight he joined church orchestra. Noticing his talent with the flute an elderly priest took an interest in Achilles and help to develop his religious interest. Soon he was in church almost every day rather than only going on the seventh day as mandated by law.

When his magic developed at puberty he was ranked above average, perhaps due to his noble ancestry. At age sixteen rather than join the army for the two tours the law demands Achilles was drafted by the Holy Order of the Chain, endorsed by the old priest. Here he refined his magical ability and religious knowledge, not knowing he was being trained as a Paladin from the moment he caught the priest's eye many years ago. At age eighteen Achilles officially became a Paladin for the Order of the Chain. While the regular Army focuses on the conflict with the grounded continent the Paladin's main focus is to suppress alternative religious groups and ideas which would upset the status quo. He quickly rose in the ranks and participated in several key conflicts when the false prophet, Paulus Moya, raised his army and declared war on the order.

By age twenty two Achilles had gained four blood stripes and obtained the rank of Strike (equal to Captain in regular Army, or US Marine Force). For his consistent growth and vigor Achilles was invited to join the Specials Unit who's members are beyond elite. During this time the conflict with the grounded continent grew and the Paladins were also fighting battles against them.
As the enemies attacks grew more efficient it became obvious they have spies within the hierarchy of the Floating Links. Enemy intelligence caused the Specials to believe a Cardinal of the Order is a traitor. A gun-ho General decided to seize the suspected traitor without informing any higher ups to avoid information leaks. The attack goes horribly wrong as the Cardinal posses immense power and wipes out almost the entire strike force before being killed by Achilles. During this conflict Achilles has his armor carbonized by the Bishops final attack which amazingly leaves him unharmed. Following the botched attack all survivors are brought to trail where Achilles is singled out by the adviser to the high lord. That several of his missions have had information leaked to the enemy ahead of time coupled with the traitor Bishop apparently showing mercy on him is used as proof of treason.That he killed the Bishop rather than captured him is considered further proof. Achilles is stripped of his rank and made to jump from the edge of the island as penance.

This ordeal is survived through what he perceives is divine intervention. In order to prove his innocence Achilles decides to destroy the enemy rebellion, thinking it weak and disorganized. He comes to discover it is more sophisticated than he thought. Also catching his interest is the religions of the lower world and the so called prophet who roams the land. One story says the man a mark which resembles a lion on his back. A similar legend exists in the Order of the Chains religion. To prove himself innocent and find this man are Achilles Bollinger's goals.[/FONT]

Griever_Lionheart

L0L182;157547 wrote
Griever Lionheart, Take a look at your armour so far :)

Thank you, I appreciate the effort. The armor design for Achilles Bollinger is based off the armor of The Black Lion of Abel from Anima Tactics. I don't have a good sized image of it (it can be googled) but I'll include a similar design. Think this but all black and with a sword at the side instead. Also note only the design is similar, the character elements are all mine.

Griever_Lionheart

L0L182;157621 wrote
Hmm....
So its more like that, well you got a dragon on the right shoulder and on the left shoulder is a shield looking one.
Sword i was thinking of was a sword on the sides and it was going to be thicker then a normal sword.
You would also have 2 daggers on your back in case of losing the main sword in battle you should be able to continue to fight still.

Well with that to go after then i guess i can make a different one similar to that drawing.

In my mind both shoulder pauldrons are shaped like Lion's heads with a single sword at the side and a cross bow on the back. No need for alot of weapons when he has magic and skill.

You don't have to trouble yourself with drawing my character if you don't want to. I hope my writing will be efficient enough to give people an idea of what he looks like and IMO all people need is a frame of reference.

Griever_Lionheart

I have no idea how other people intend to go about writing but my approach is to write adventures of an original character in a world which consists of some of the ideas present in this thread. I don't mind if this character is used in other peoples stories as long as it does not interfere with the journey for him I'm developing. The ideas I present for the world can be used or discarded by other writers as they see fit. I am writing more as an exercise for myself than some overall group project thing. If there is a particular character someone else developed that I want my character to interact with I will PM the creator for both permission and to brainstorm so everything maintains consistency.
As long as people enjoy what I write I don't care if it is considered part of an overall narrative. That being said, I think I have strong concepts which people that are weaker in the developmental aspects of stories could benefit from using in their individual works.

Griever_Lionheart

Hey guys, sorry for the delay. I'm working on my next story chapter. I'm planning something kind of big for the next chapter that I hope people embrace. If not feel free to ignore.

Griever_Lionheart

Sorry for the leave of absence.
I'm going to be leaving this story sooner than I expected to work on my solo projects. I have three more sections to write before I'm done. The First will be posted on the 24th. Please be patient and hopefully you will enjoy what I present.

Griever_Lionheart

[FONT=&quot]Achilles Bollinger's story: Part VII

"Another planet?" I ask, unable to keep the shock from my voice.
"You mean to say you're from an entirely different world?" How can this be? The scriptures say this world in the only one, mandated by the Gods, to hold life.

"Yes, I'm from another world. My people however originated from this one." Ashura Mahdae explains.
"During a time of great peril we thought this world would be consumed by strife and war so we sought to make a better life for ourselves among the stars".

This seems impossible, that people could leave this planet. Is he lying? To what end? I must draw more information out of him.
"Please, tell me more".

"Most of the facts", begins Ashura, "are irrelevant". "The most important thing is that the leaders of my world have become interested in the magic of this world. The science as well. It is, generally, inferior to our own but there are some aspects that we have yet to discover for ourselves."

"It was decided that we would conquer this world to learn it's secrets. But rather than waste resources to wage war ourselves an advance unit was sent to use this worlds own forces against it. I was a member of that unit."

Was; he used the past tense. "So why then are you divulging this information? I should guess this is against the wishes of your superiors." Lying or telling the truth, this man is a heretic. I will learn what I can, then I will send him to Shiden-Durgis, the lands of torment.

"I have been here a very long time and have come to respect the people of this land, those above and below. They do not deserve that fate my people would cast on them. I'm telling you this in hope that you will help me stop this war."
Ashura Mahdae has finally gotten to the heart of what he wants, a rebellion against his masters plans. He is a bleeding heart sympathizer and a traitor. A man such as this is not to be trusted.

"The Floating Links posses great strength, why shouldn't we conquer the heathens below then fight the forces of Titan when they arrive? You said they lack magic so why should we fear them?" Tell me more, traitor. Reveal all that you hold secret. What good will they do you in hell.

"Those heathens you speak of have no magic yet your people have been unable to win a decisive victory against them. That is why your people are planning a large scale engagement. Magic is powerful but it's power is not absolute. Besides my people has technology much more powerful than your magics." Mahdae says this in a grave voice as if to impress upon me it's importance.

"Why then should they want our magic? Being so powerful, why should they need it?" More, tell me more. I will give the information to my masters and we will stand ready to face this outside force.

"My people want magic because it is extremely efficient and they are power hungry. Your people will not easily win it's current war and will stand no chance in the subsequent one. But united with the continent below this world may stand a chance." Once more I notice how tired Ashura Mahdae looks. I myself know how difficult standing alone against the forces of a foreign power can be.

"Tell me more" I ask.

To be continued....
[/FONT]

Griever_Lionheart

My last two chapters have been kind of boring, the next one will be action packed. I hope everyone enjoys them still. Dispensing information is not fun.

Next part will have more talking but also swords and magic, or rather swords of magic. Also death.

Please keep reading.

Griever_Lionheart

To be honest I'm quite dissatisfied with the story, both my parts and others. The story never had a clear outline, setting, or regulations.

I understand this is not from lack of trying on everyone's part. Effort and time went into the story, it just never developed quality.

I may start another story thread, I have some ideas floating around. If I do then it would play out similar to a table top rpg, with multiple people going through at the mercy of a "dungeon master"- someone who injects story elements into the scenario that the others must then work out.

As for this current story, I may finish the current arc I have written but I make no promises.

Griever_Lionheart

I'm busy with some writing projects outside the forum right now as well as working on learning audio editing so I won't be doing any story projects here for a while.

I do indeed have some ideas brewing though so when I'm done everything should come together fairly swiftly. If anyone else wants to start something before then, don't wait on my account. If I have free time I'd try to contribute to another persons project, but nothing to extensive.

Griever_Lionheart

TheWolf;230404 wrote
are you recording and editing the audio, griever?

Yeah, I'm working on putting together a podcast using Audacity, an audio program. I'm also planning on doing some audio dramas but that's much further down the line.

The program is simple but I have no background with that sort of thing so it's taking some effort.

Griever_Lionheart

I appreciate the offer but I already have a couple of tutorials, what I'm lacking is time.

Griever_Lionheart

I am throwing some ideas up against a wall but nothing seems to be sticking yet. Generally I want to do something with a planet wide event(alien invasion, zombies, robots, or the like) with each writer using an stylized version of their actually self, possibly with some sort of power or ability.

The fact that I'm very busy and the lack of ideas coming together solidly has prevented me from starting up a new story. The way it would go is everyone would give a "stat sheet" listing their skills and weaknesses then I would pair up people and give them a scenario as a jump off point for the writing. I would then, in between writing segments add additional elements for the writers to incorporate.

I'll let everyone know when I'm ready to get something going and it will hopefully be soon. If anyone has comments or ideas on what they want the general premise to be or on the general format, please post them.

Griever_Lionheart

For the approach I'm thinking of serious or comedic would be the burden of the writers. The "skill sheet" would be more a list of skills the writers feels they/their character would have. An example of this would be parkour skills or martial arts ability. I would use these skills to group together individuals.

The primary focus of my idea if that everyone would more or less write their character as themselves, with their persona and making choices that reflect their actual ideals.

I feel this would attract more people as they would not have to develop a character but would grow the character out of themselves.

Grouping people would force social interactions, for example if you want to write someone else you would need to know their skills/persona. This would encourage communication outside of the story. My ideas are perhaps overly ambitious but I feel a different approach to the last story attempt would be better.

Griever_Lionheart

chronofox;246375 wrote
How about a story on a group of people who are Immortal. Perhaps they are antagonists or protagonists or turned to either side due to the passage of time. Their could be other civilizations that despise their "God Given Powers" so some wish to kill them or others want them to study and figure out how they themselves can become immortal, or their are those that want them in their army to give them total power. Now of course their can be weapons or some kind of object that was created that can destroy the immortals.

Meh, I dunno..lol

What? That sound like the plot of extremely bad indie comic that hopes to get by on art primarily featuring half naked woman or a crap anime only approved because the writer once did something that was good in the early nineties.

Griever_Lionheart

chronofox;250274 wrote
Well, I understand the fact that it can be a pretty lame plot I suppose. I was just throwing something in the air to see if it can spark some greater idead from it. But I fail to see where this "half naked woman" aspect sprouted from. I didnt have any intentions nor hinted toward the idea that there would be something like that in it lol... I have quite a few other ideas as well...Of course none of them will be refined or anything like that. They would merely be used to open some doors to fresher ideas.

The comment about woman came from the fact indie comic with weak plots often use sexy art to draw customers. See Top Cow for reference.

I'm glad your trying to drum up interest, but I really feel your last suggestion was lame. I'm sure something will come up eventually, preferably from me.

Griever_Lionheart

Please feel free to do as you like Meri. My personal feeling are mine, you can start a new project or continue this one at your own discretion. I would prefer a project with more control and over-site but I'm sure you can get other people involved in whatever you want to do.

diras2010

hello there.. i read just the late post, because my internet is freaking low, the fact of the Levistone islands is pretty nice, you cold picture how does it could looks like if you already had seen James Cameron's: Avatar, the fact of the fallin' water could be framed from that movie too...

maybe later i'll check the entire post in order to knmow all about this, and maybe help in the develop of thi story

Venchi

I am not gonna make a character but I noticed you still need names for some places. If you don't mind maybe I can help with that.

If the forest doesn't have a name, it could be simply known as the Northern Forest seeing Meri placed it on the North side of the Lost Continent. Or it can be that forest are so common it simply doesn't have a name.

This is all I have for now. But I will try to come with more

Venchi

What was the info we had on the mountain so far?

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