I don't think I'll write anything.
[spoiler]nothing[/spoiler]
[spoiler]anything isn't here[/spoiler]
[spoiler]could be there[/spoiler]
[spoiler]Is this annoying?[/spoiler]
[spoiler]How annoying?[/spoiler]
[spoiler]Really? That so?[/spoiler]
[spoiler] Derfel was sick of the present, so he decided to look into the past, he ran into a wall as fast as he could and knocked himself out.
"Am I in the Past?" He looked around and saw he was no longer in the city, but near some trees and maybe on a mountain, by the way the ground was sloping. He shrugged and waited for the past to happen.
Suddenly he spied a woman and a sexy one at that, she was bathing in a pool of water he had overlooked because of the blood running down his face and into his eyes. He shook his head and cleared the haze from his mind, he decided his best course was to spy on this young naked lady to make sure no one spied on her.
Everything was going well, but then he slipped and the bushes rustled, he decided the woman could take care of her self and need not know of the good deed he had done her.
So he slipped away and ran like the dashes anywhere so her sterotypical male companion, usually of the large and angry type didn't catch up with him. He had read enough stories to know that it always played out that way.
He ran for at least a minute at a fast jog and knew he was safe. He was about to return to the present as nothing was happeinng here, when he saw a God freshly fallen from the sky.
He hurried over to the visage of holliness and strength, the God of all and anything, except everything. He bowed to it and started to murmer its praises.
"Oh holy man of many legs and shell of hardness and an arm bigger then the other, what do you bestow apon your most faithful?"
The crab clicked its mandibles together and scuttled sideways away from the bleeding madman, still covered in bits of people.
Derfel gasped and nearly fainted from the amazement and not the head wound.
"Yes! Yes! I see, this is the best technique in the world to defeat enemies. Hahahahaha coo coo cachoo! I will take over the world in your honour and my promise will last at least a minute or two."
Derfel was so caught up in his celebrations that he didn't notice a man sneaking up on him.
A cough made him turn around and stare at a slightly battle worn man.
"Damn! You really are a mess. I don't think men such as you should be in the company of us Gods. Yes I see you stare at me and you think 'what a stylish and handsome man radiating with power.' It is true I could crush you with a thought, but instead we shall fight like mortals, hhaha me a mortal, what a thought. Come we fight now!"
Derfel pulled his invisble sword and shield out and prepared for the man to attack.
The man lunged forward and Derfel matched his move, taking the blow on his shield and sliding his own sword into the man's ribs.
Blood sprayed everywhere and Derfel laughed.
"Well done, you managed to scratch my sheild and remain standing after I have killed you."
The man stared at him and then flicked his eyes to Derfel's arm. Derfel looked at his bloody stump and laughed.
"Silly me, I need that."
He bent down and shoved the hand back onto his stump, it fused and he flexed it.
"Right well you aren't dying, so I shall make you stop living instead."
Derfel felt his toes falling off and he looked down at the crab God, with it's pincer around his foot.
"Yes, I shall use the secret technique."
The crab frowned up at him, blew some bubbles and walked away. Derfel was encouraged by the Crab God's confidence and he started to walk sideways, just the way the God showed him.
The man opened his mouth and Derfel laughed at him and interupted before he could start.
"I have won worm and shall break your head open and pour your brains upon the ground, not eating them at all, thats right! I am going to waste them! Hahah!"
That was when Derfel stepped off the cliff he had failed to notice. He didn't pinwheel his arms, try to grab anthing or even shout out, he just fell.
After a minute of falling he grew worried, had he fallen off the side of the world?
"Whats going on?"
Derfel rolled his eyes and answered Sicques question.
"I'd think it was pretty obvious, I'm flying. I was fighting some curr on a mountain awhile ago and grew bored."
"Oh." Sicques sounded disapointed. "And where are you going to land?"
Derfel flipped over so he was facing the ground and pointed.
"There, but for some reason, it isn't staying still."
"Haha! you idiot. You are falling and it is you that can't stay still. I shall soon be free of this Mortal Coil."
"Good! Try to keep your hopes up of a safe landing."
Derfel didn't tell Sicques that they might have fallen off the side of the world, so as not to scare the lad.
Then he was reassured of his safety when he splattered into the ground and was liquified. As his body started to slide down the mountain, he regained solid form again. Sicques was relieved as well
"Oh you have to be kidding me! How the hell did you survive that!"
"Skill."
"Arrrgh! You better die soon."
"Don't get to excited that we survived, I think we still have some way to travel down this mountain, oh and I believe I have found my toes again."
Sicques stayed silent for the rest of the journey, as they bounced, cracked, smashed and dashed down the mountain. Derfel lost count of the hours and tried to relax and enjoy the trip.
Then he reached the end, he rolled for some time, then with a timed convulsive heave, he pushed his body up and flipped up onto his feet.
"There! Now I think I shall return to the present, this whole experience isn't in my memories and I suspect it was because it was so awfully boring. Now come Sicques, we shall return to building my empire once again."
Derfel brushed off his outfit and frowned as he was instantly transported back to the city and the present.
"You know, I wasn't this dirty or missing limbs and flesh before I went back into the past. I guess that just happens when you mess with your memories."
"Please someone kill me or at least you. I hate you so much, you don't even know when you are dead, you jerk." Snarled Sicques.
"Of course you are right my friend, we must keep our chins up."
Derfel started to whistle and then realied his head was some feet away on the ground. He chuckled, picked it up and continued on his way.
[/spoiler]
