well I guess all bad jokes aren't supposed to be the racists type
a worst joke could also mean a joke which is poorly crafted ?? :P
oh maybe that could fall under stupid Jokes XD
anyways talking of stupid jokes or worst (whatever) :D
here are a few :)
What did the art dealer say when a man asked what a picture was supposed to be?
-- a reflection of you.
I was reading a book about adhesive the other day. I just couldn't put it down.
Q: What's black, white, black, white, and green?
A: Two skunks fighting over a pickle.
Q: Why were the suspenders arrested?
A: For holding up a pair of pants.
Q: What do you get if you cross a cow with a camel?
A: A lumpy milkshake.
Q; What did the angry inflatable teacher say to the irresponsible inflatable child in the inflatable school?
A: Not only have you let me down, you've let yourself down, and you've let the whole school down!
Q: Why was the broom late?
A: Because he overswept.
Q: What did the pirate find in the toilet?
A: The captain’s log!!!!
Q: Why are pirates called pirates.
A: Because they AAAARRG!!!
Why did the panda fall out of the tree?
He Died :onion4:
Why Did the second panda fall out of the tree?
He was holding on to the first panda :imdead: :onion06:
Why did the third panda fall out of the tree?
He thought it was a game :cheerleader:
Q: What is brown and sticky?
A: A stick.
Q: What place dosen’t have old buildings?
A: Newcastle!!!!!!
Q: What country is always starving?
A: Hungary!!!!!!!!
What happens when you cross a singer and a rocking chair?
-- you rock to the beat.
what did the girl sea say when the boy sea asked her for a date?
-- shore
Who greets you at a haunted house?
-- a host ghost
Why did the farmer bury all his money?
-- to make his soil rich
Where can you find an ocean without water?
-- on a map
Why do shoemakers go to heaven?
Because they have good soles
If fruit comes from a fruit tree, where does chicken come from?
-- a poul-tree
What did the tree say to the mountain?
-- stop peaking at me!
What did the boy chip say to the girl chip (crisp for the Brits)?
-- Let's dance and I'll dip you.
Why was it hard for the geometry teacher to walk?
-- she broke her angle
What did the plate say to the other plate?
-- lunch is on me.
What did the man say when the picture fell on his head?
-- I've been framed!
How do you turn soup into gold?
-- add 24 carrots (karats)
What do you do if a rhino charges you?
-- Give him your credit card.
Why did they bury the battery?
-- Because it was dead.
What do wolves say when they are introduced?
-- howl do you do?
What does a car run on?
-- wheels
What did the sink say to the water faucet?
-- you're a real drip
where do pigs park their cars?
-- in a porking lot
Why did the little cookie (biscuit) cry?
-- because his mother was a wafer so long.
[COLOR=Plum]
[/COLOR][COLOR=DarkOrange]What do you call a hot dog in a bun?
-- [/COLOR][COLOR=Magenta][COLOR=DarkOrange]an in betweenie weenie.[/COLOR]
[/COLOR]
Why did the rabbit eat lunch under the sink?
-- He found a leek there.
How do you make a witch itch?
-- take away her W
What do you call two guys fighting over a prostitute?
-- tug of whore
How does a man on the moon get his hair cut?
-- eclipse it
Why did the man throw his margarine?
-- he wanted to see the butter fly
What did the finger say to the thumb?
-- I'm in glove with you
why was it so hot after the football game?
because all of the fans left!!!
What did one casket say to the other casket?
Is that you coffin?
how do you keep a fish from smelling?
put a clothes-pin on its nose!
Wuts green,black,white,black,green?
Two pickles fighting for an OREO!
Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Cows say.
Cows say who?
No silly cows say moo
Why was Cinderella so bad at sports?
Because she had a pumpkin for a coach and she ran away from the ball
What did the mexican fire chief name his two sons?
Hose A and Hose B
What are caterpillars afraid of?
Dogerpillars
What is Green and Sings?
Elvis Parsely
(an alternative)
"whats green and sings blue suede shoes?
Elvis Parsely
[COLOR=Teal]
[/COLOR]
[COLOR=Teal]why did the chicken cross the road?
-to get to the other sideee! [/COLOR]
[COLOR=Teal]why did the gummmm cross the road?
-because it was stuck to the chicken's feet!!! [/COLOR]
What are the strongest days of the week?
Saturday& Sunday, The rest are weak-days!
what is underneath a roosters wing?
Answer: A Cockpit
what did one math book say the other?
i don't know about you but i have alot of problems!!!!!
non pg version... [COLOR=Pink]add me subtract the lights divide your legs and lets multiply!!!!![/COLOR]
why was the tomato blushing??
because it saw the salad dressing!!
What did the cabbage preacher say to his church?
Lettuce pray!
What does a pig write with?
An oink pen.
Why did the children all eat their homework?
Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake
What did one sandwich say to the other sandwich??
-- your full of bologna!
What do Christmas and a cat in the desert have in common?
Both have Sandy Claws!
why was the ocean arrested?
because he kept beating up on the beach...
why do chicken coops have 2 doors?
cause if they had 4 they would be a chicken sedan
what do you call a bear in the rain?
A drizzly bear!!
Where did the Spaghetti go to dance?
The meat ball!!!!
What did one cornflake say to another cornflake?
I'll tell you next week, it's a cereal! (secret)
Why was the cat afraid of the tree?
He was scared of the bark!
When does it rain money?
-when theres change in the weather!!!
Whats the best way to brush your hare?
Hold him firmly by his long ears and brush gently.
(you read it as hair didn't you ; don't lie now XD)
Why couldnt orange roll UP the hill
It ran out of JUICE
Why did the man take a hammer to bed?
He wanted to hit the sack.
Why do mother kangaroos hate the rain?
Because the kids have to play inside all day.
Why was the policeman in bed?
-He was undercover.
There were two muffins in an oven and one muffin turned to the other and said, "MAN! IT"S HOT IN HERE" and the other muffin said, "AHHH! TALKING MUFFIN!"
What washes up on really small beaches?
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
-Because if they flew over the bay they would be baygulls
Why did the football coach go to the bank?
To get his Quarterback!!!
How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a little boogie in it!
If two collars had a race how would it end??
In a tie!
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A GUMMY BEAR! {GB SONG}
Why don't ducks laugh?
what do a cow and a grape have in common?
they're both purple...
except for the cow!!
Why did the mailman run from the tree?
Because he saw it's bark.
What happens when you drop a duck egg?
It quacks
Why did the skeleton cross the road?
To get to the body shop!
What do pigs put on their cuts?
....Oinkment
Why did the ghost sing off key?
He left his sheet music at home.
[COLOR=Teal]What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill?[/COLOR]
[COLOR=Teal]- "Here come the elephants over the hill."[/COLOR]
[COLOR=Teal]What did Tarzan say when he say the elephants coming over the hill with sunglasses on?[/COLOR]
[COLOR=Teal]- nothing, he didn't recognize them.[/COLOR]
What is the best way to keep water from running?
Don't pay the water bill.
How many vampires does it take to put in a light bulb?
None. Vampires like the dark.
When does a doctor get mad?
When he runs out of patients.
Why did the sky blush?????
Cos the sea weed.
what is smarter than a parrot??
a spelling bee
Why did the man throw a cheerio off the roof?
Because he was a cereal killer
"What's black and white and isn't here anymore?"
"No more oreos."
What's red and smells like blue paint?
Red paint!
How far did the witch fly?
Ghost to ghost.
How does every baseball player get a hit?
He sings a song.
Why couldn't Beethoven find his instructor? Because he was Haydn.
Why did the pig go into the kitchen?
it felt like bakin'
What do you get when you cross a pig with a cactus?
A porky-pine!!!
Why don't lobsters share?
because they're shellfish!
What is colorful and has a horn???
.....a unicorn on top of a magic rainbow!!!!
what do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino??
---eliphino
What do you get when you cross a dragon fly and a head-less horse?
Head-less dragon horse fly
Why did the skeleton go to the movies alone?
Beacause he had noBODY to go with
how can you tell if a vampire has a cold?
he starts coffin!
what is dracula's favorite ice cream flavour?
vein-illa!
why don't you tell a egg a joke?
because it will crack up...
what is snake's favorite subject?
hiss-tory...
why did Tommy throw the clock out the window?
because he wanted to see time fly...
whats green and has 3 wheels??
grass...i was just kidding about the wheels part ;)
what's a cat's favorite color? purrrrrple
Q: 2 potatoes standing on the side of the road, one's a prostitute, how do you know which one? A: The one with the IDAHO sticker!!!
Two prezels were walking down the street
... One was assaulted...(a salted)
did you hear about the circus that came to town?
Ya it was in tents...(intense)
Why did the bowling pins stop working?
Because they went on STRIKE!
Why do fish swim in schools?
Because they can't WALK in schools...
What flies and spins?
A cow in a tornadoes
What's worse than raining cats and dogs??
Hailing a taxi!
Have you heard the joke about the sidewalk?
It's all over town!
what did the mother cow say to its child on its first day of school?
bison.
Why did the bones cross the road?
They didn't; the dogs ate them.
What is the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can't tuna fish? (Tune a)
Why did the mouse sleep under the oil can?[B]
So it wouldn't be squeaky in the morning![/B]
What do you call a mean-tempered horse?
A nightmare.
Where do fish sleep?
In a water bed!
Why didn't the bear cross the road?
Because he was beary scared.
What is a tree's favorite drink?
Root beer.
How does a dinosaur come out of a pool?
Wet!
What kind of shorts do clouds wear?
Thunderwear!!!
Why do eskimos wash their cloths in Tide?
Because it's to cold out Tide!
How do you wake up Lady Gaga??
You Poke her face (say out loud)
Why is Peter Pan always flying???
because he can NEVER NEVER LAND!!!!!!!!!
WHY DO WITCHES FLY ON BROOMS?
BECAUSE VACUM CLEANERS ARE TO HEAVY. (aimed or taken from Hocus Pocus?)
WHAT DO BUNNIES SAY ON HALLOWEEN.
HAVE A ''HOPPY HALLOWEEN''
[COLOR=Red]
What seven letters did the girl say to her closet?
O-I-C-U-R-M-T.
[/COLOR]How do monkeys get down the stairs?
They use the banana-ster!
Why did the shark cross the Great Barrier Reef?
To get to the other tide.
What did the little bag of flour ask the girl bag of flour?
Can you please give me a flour?
Why did the onions get eaten by the kids?
Because they scared off the yellow-spotted lizards!
[COLOR=DarkOrchid](WELL MOST of them weren't .. well actually in the end all of them are a bit cluttered with being in mixed categories not just worst/silly joke[s] category XD)
I hope you enjoyed the ones which were meant to be enjoyed :D
[/COLOR]
