Need help, girl problem

Kari_ufo

I have strong feelings for her since summer, but we still havent kissed or so, but still hugged and so on, unfourtnately she still have feelings for her old boyfriend and sometimes it feels like she cant decide, im really serious about her but she sometimes shut me out and she stills keep seeing me and i dont know what to do, for a quite a while ago she broke my heart twice and i still have feelings for her and sometimes i even dream about her. Her old boyfriend broke up with her in summer and now currently having another girlfriend.

Vladimir

Kari_ufo;82866 wrote
I have strong feelings for her since summer, but we still havent kissed or so, but still hugged and so on, unfourtnately she still have feelings for her old boyfriend and sometimes it feels like she cant decide, im really serious about her but she sometimes shut me out and she stills keep seeing me and i dont know what to do, for a quite a while ago she broke my heart twice and i still have feelings for her and sometimes i even dream about her. Her old boyfriend broke up with her in summer and now currently having another girlfriend.

Well, first of all. You started in the middle of the story, but whatever.
My question to you would be, are you sure you'd wanna be with someone who's not sure if they wanna be with you or with someone else?

Mich

my advice för you as a girl, is to give her some time. She's still in love with him and its hard for her to move on.. and at least call her to meet you and have a serious talk with her and tell her how you feel about her and everything that comes to your mind. tell her youll wait for her.. (but not too long).. maybe she has to know that you really like her and show her your feelings! be emotion! :P if she has bad news, then its bad for her(hennes förlust) .. but there is plenty of girls in this world so you shouldnt worry! there is always one for one person. :)
i hope itll work out for you, i really do. And if you have more questions just ask.

Mich

Kari_ufo;84402 wrote
Every day pretty much, like i said sometimes she avoids me, yeah i know im pushing a bit to much, but if im not doing that mabye nothing will happen, had that problem once before.

its not good if you push her too much. She needs time thats all. As long she has feeling for her ex you should just be there for her as a friend.
When she feels shes ready you should go for it! :P

Mich

Kari_ufo;85021 wrote
What im feeling right now is that im gonna be her friend until she shows some more signs of wanting to be with me, ill give her more time and hopefully it works out fine.

that was a good answer ^___

Genjuu_Mugon

Tell her that if you cannot be hers that you're going to have to make a regretful decision and find someone else. As Mich said you might to give it a little time to receive her answer.

If that fails: fall to the ground, roll up into a ball and play dead. Later resurrect and start on a new quest for the perfect someone.

Kari_ufo

The thing is i already told her my feelings and also i said a lot of times that if she doesnt want to be with me im going to start seeing others, still shes also an important friend and i have friends that we both know, so none of us really can leave each other if we wanted too.

Last time it ended in a fight, i said that she maybe should leave me because of her feelings for old boyfriend, which she doesnt now really like that much, because shes saying hes an idiot to my friends, but still never said anything about wanting to be with me, asked a couple times about becoming my girlfriend, but doesnt answer. She also wanted me to kiss her last time, but it ended in both crying and she left.

I mean something for her but i think shes afraid of telling me the truth but yeah time i suspected was the answer all along, but still it has been a while, really disapointed that it has not progessed as much as i wanted but im taking it slow because i think that should be what im supposed to do, but yeah im still gonna try a kiss again.

and i forgot to say that i met her one week before she broke up with her boyfriend, but we have a lot in common and sometimes i understand her.

Kari_ufo

Every day pretty much, like i said sometimes she avoids me, yeah i know im pushing a bit to much, but if im not doing that mabye nothing will happen, had that problem once before.

Kari_ufo

the most annoying part is that she doesnt tell me what i should do or how she feels, it would been easier if i knew that for both of us.

Kari_ufo

hyper_shadow;84770 wrote
It's all well and good asking everyone elses opinions and such, but you haven't actually said what you want to do clearly I don't think.

Everyone here will give as much moral backup and advice based on their experiences as we have. We've all had our fair share of loves and losses I'm sure, so we can relay our experience in that respect. However the one person you need to listen to is yourself.

What does your gut instinct say about the situation? Does it say you need to be a friend, or something more? Does it say you need to do something out of your usual character to expose a side of yourself she's never seen? Or does it tell you to run and hide? Ignore us, we're not you and we're not going through those exact feelings and that exact situation right now. Listen to you.

I hope this doesn't come across as harsh or anything, I don't mean it to be, but sometimes you need to get tough on yourself.

What im feeling right now is that im gonna be her friend until she shows some more signs of wanting to be with me, ill give her more time and hopefully it works out fine.

Kari_ufo

I got bad luck as usual in love, she said it never will be anything and so on, so were not even friends anymore, i hate love, wish at least a girl would fall before i do.

TheWolf

my wife didn't "do relationships" when i met her. that made me laff bcuz i wanted her. i kept seeing her, telling her my feelings, pressured her for the first kiss - but didn't force - until now. we've been married 18 years.

keep at her realizing you'll either drive her away or draw her closer to you.

illumin7

convoy01;83855 wrote
the prob is that your expecting something in return.... if you really care for that person, step aside your personal interest.... and juz help her till she recovers... if you really love her.... then juz be happy that your with her.... your a guy.... we're meant to bare anything..... no matter how it gets rough you will always find your way back.....

life is simple my friend..... start to enjoy the smallest things... then thing will fall into right places..... goodluck :bow:

You must have a machine that can steal thoughts cos I was gonna type the same thing.

:bow:

Oh and to the T/S you need to lighten up more and [SIZE=4]relax [/SIZE]your putting loads of [SIZE=2]pressure[/SIZE] on yourself.

Oh one question how often do you tell your Mrs how you feel?

illumin7

convoy01;83915 wrote
is that a question for me?

:sorry:

I meant it for the threadstarter my browser decided to play games when I tried quoting his post so I left it as it was and hoped he'd see it sorry for the confusion blasted add ons for firefox.

nnnmmm

The first time I tried to steal a kiss from my girlfriend she punched me in the face. And now we've been together for 4 years cuz I never stopped trying. If you really love her don't give up easily. I always say love is contagious. If your love is true it'll infect her like a virus.

nnnmmm

........................Ouch. That sucks but try not to let this ruin love for you as a whole. It won't always be like this.

convoy01

the prob is that your expecting something in return.... if you really care for that person, step aside your personal interest.... and juz help her till she recovers... if you really love her.... then juz be happy that your with her.... your a guy.... we're meant to bare anything..... no matter how things gets rough you will always find your way back.....

life is simple my friend..... start to enjoy the smallest things... then thing will fall into right places..... goodluck :bow:

convoy01

illumin7;83896 wrote
You must have a machine that can steal thoughts cos I was gonna type the same thing.

:bow:

Oh and to the T/S you need to lighten up more and [SIZE=4]relax [/SIZE]your putting loads of [SIZE=2]pressure[/SIZE] on yourself.

Oh one question how often do you tell your Mrs how you feel?

is that a question for me?

hyper_shadow

I'd have to agree with Vlad. Personally mate I'd go for broke, go for the kiss or whatever, try to move your relationship forward. If She's still reluctant find out why and if it's because she has feelings for someone else I'm afraid you gonna have to let it go.

hyper_shadow

And to add to the above it's bloody painful. It's a joyous rapture when you have the perfect someone; and it is unbearably painful to be apart. You have to be willing to weather a storm (and the odd smack) for the right thing. Just go all out and try not to cry first, it's just as contagious as love itself, but means you can't speak as clearly.

Seriously though. Sometimes you do just need to either go all out, no half measures, or call it quits.

You shouldn't even need to ask yourself if she's worth it, you should already know the answer and just let instinct do the rest.

Good luck, fingers crossed for ya.